I am so terrible at describing my feelings…but there really aren’t words for the first time we were able to see our little “daughter” move on her ultrasound yesterday. It felt real to me all along, or so I thought. But seeing her on that screen, in real time moving all around, waving her little hands, was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. She was so active in there yet I couldn’t feel a thing. I fell head over heels in love with her instantly. All of my little dreams about her became real. I could picture holding her in my arms, looking up at me with what I hope are her dad’s eyes and smile. And nose for that matter. They did say she had long legs which we can hope she gets from mom. She’d be a nice sturdy soccer player with her daddio’s legs. She may have been a little strange black and white skeleton looking creature to some on that screen, but to me she was the most beautiful, perfect little angel I had ever seen. I instantly became proud, creepy stage mom.
All along I had thought she was a boy. I had kind of secretly always wanted a girl to be my first, because that’s how it was in our family. I think I wanted it so badly that I started to believe it was a boy (to prepare me). However that works. As the nurse was moving to the “area” scan, she said, see those 3 little lines? And I blurted out, “IT’S A GIRL!!!” I looked at Nick who was absolutely beaming. I tried to be the tough guy, which just makes me more awkward, but I was laughing and trying to lock it up but tears were dripping down my cheek. It was a moment that I will never forget.
She explained to me that I probably won’t feel much activity for awhile yet because my placenta is in between she and my belly button. I then went on to ask if my baby was inside the placenta. Erg. I should have paid more attention in 7th grade health class but it just wasn’t my bag. Anyway, I had a little anatomy/how babies are born class in there with the nurse. She must have thought I was a moron. I concurred. A few subtle and far between times before I have felt some flutters, and now as I type I feel some more. A little more distinct this time. And it’s so cool. I can’t wait until Nick can feel them too. It must be so strange for the father, not feeling what the women feel until late in the pregnancy. No sickness, no fatness, no kicks. Hmmm. This isn’t sounding so bad for them. And then there’s the whole delivery part. Hey wait.
We came home last night and I immediately started looking at Target and Baby’s R Us. Adorable. Nick and I also each sat down to write our little girl a letter that I will frame and hang on her wall for her to read when she is older. It was so special to capture that moment and that day. Nick’s such a sap. That little lady is going to be such a daddy’s girl. He’s wooped already. In his letter, he mentioned to her that she had the warmest room in the house. I thought it was adorable.
I am so terrible at secrets but it hasn’t been much of a secret since I was very young. She’s going to be named Isabelle Elizabeth. Izzy Lizzy when she’s wacky. Isabelle was my grandma’s name on my dad’s side. She passed away when I was just 2 but my dad always said I was just like her. Except for the ambulance chasing, rattlesnake eating part. I won’t do that. She was however a jewelry maker. She made some beautiful turquoise and coral jewelry. The Izzy in my jewelry company name came from her. The Elizabeth is a name on my mom’s side. It was my great grandma’s first name, my mom’s middle name and my middle name as well. I found out yesterday it’s also my cousin on my dad’s side’s middle name. I was also informed that Isabelle is the spanish word for Elizabeth. Whatever. I think it makes it more cool, don’t you Elizabeth Elizabeth?